Animals are wonderful additions to our lives! They are with us for short periods of time (relatively speaking), and are capable of leaving life long lasting impressions on our heart.
I was blessed to have a wonderful mare in my life for 6 years. Together Molly and I shared a wonderful healing journey. She became my closest companion, my best friend and soul mate. The love I feel for her isn’t easily quantifiable with words; there just aren’t words that descriptive!
Losing her last summer to colic was DEVASTATING. Grief is a powerful and sacred experience. The soul lessons learned through the process of grief are more precious and valuable than we may think. I was numb, literally numb. I cried often. I wasn’t eating and I couldn’t sleep. I missed her with every ounce of energy that I had. Losing her changed my life. I needed a new routine as I no longer had barn chores to do. Every minute of every day was conscious effort. I would often sit in my empty barn to talk with her, smell the hay, and yearn to hear her breath and soft nicker like I had for 6 years.
After 2 months had passed, I visited a friend and her horses, and we went on a short ride. I came home devastatingly empty---this was NOT my mare. I was still trying to find MY mare. I knew in my brain that Molly had left the physical plane. I wanted in my heart to ride her just one more time; to smell her just one more time; to hug her and hear her nicker….just one more time. I wanted MY Molly.
I realized that I wasn’t ready to be around horses just yet. I was still very emotional, still very much grieving, and not yet ready to approach a horse with a clean slate (so to speak) and judging him/her as an individual (and not looking to ‘make’ it into Molly).
The days and months of winter slowly passed. I began to look at old pictures and videos of Molly and me together, able to remember the smiles and fun times! I am able to smile and laugh at her quirks (and mine too!) and the experiences we shared. I think I’m ready to be around horses again….I think I’m ready….I think I can! No, I am NOT ready to be a horse mom again. I’m not sure that day will ever come. But I’m ready to be around a horse again.
In March, a friend emailed me an opportunity; Reins of Hope is looking for volunteers to help bring horse riding to people with disabilities. Wow, an opportunity to help unite people with special needs with the amazing healing power of horses. Sure, count me in! I am willing to try. Spring is a new season. Trees are waking up. Things are coming alive again.
This past Wednesday was the first day of the Reins of Hope program for this year. I arrived at the barn an hour early so that I could meet the horses and get a feel for their personalities. I also respect that they need to get a feel for me and my personality. Working with horses isn’t a one way street---respect both ways is necessary.
The first horse I approached in the barn was named…MOLLY. I’m thinking “omg, this isn’t real…” I approached her stall and she picked her head right up to look at me through the bars on her door. She poked her nose through the bars, and I offered the back of my left hand. She sniffed me. I told her that “I had a horse named Molly in my life, and she was incredible. It’s nice to meet you.” Do you know what this mare did? SHE LICKED THE BACK OF MY HAND. That’s a horse kiss. She was so gentle, and her eye was soft. She accepted me J
She was then ready to be led out into the arena by her handler for her warm up walk. I stood in the aisle outside her stall watching her walk away, eyes welled with tears. I truly believe that MY Molly Mare kissed me through Molly. It’s ok. I’m ok. I have my Molly’s blessing to work with other horses in this healing capacity. No other horse will ever hold a place in my heart and soul the way my Molly is there. I have healed and found great peace in the act of kindness from a horse who licked the back of my hand.
It was my assignment on Wednesday to walk alongside the riders who were to be on a mare named Belle. We had 3 sessions (so 3 different riders). First session I walked on the side, assisting the rider so he wouldn’t slide off the side of the horse. Second session I was asked to walk with the horse leader (the one holding the lead rope and guiding the horse). By the third session I was the one leading the horse. Belle and I listened to each other. We both helped the rider. We helped each other. I learned Belle’s quirks—she’s a 14 HH mare who is Alpha over the other 15+ HH horses. She doesn’t get along with Molly (the one who licked my hand) so we needed to stay away from her. She makes Ruby move in pasture (because she can!) so we need to stay away from Ruby (not all riders have the leg strength or balance to stay on the horse if she were to trot away from Belle). I respect herd dynamics, and we kept our riders safe.
I came home that night physically a little tired from walking about 50 laps around the arena. Emotionally I felt energized and STRONG. I have a sense of peace that I haven’t felt in a long time. Being around horses is an AMAZING experience. As long as you are open to healing, their wonderful grounding energy will certainly assist you with that.
And I truly believe that I received one last kiss from MY Molly Mare, working through another horse named Molly.
Messages from our loved ones who have crossed over can come in many forms. They are there for those who believe, and who are open to seeing them!
I was blessed to have a wonderful mare in my life for 6 years. Together Molly and I shared a wonderful healing journey. She became my closest companion, my best friend and soul mate. The love I feel for her isn’t easily quantifiable with words; there just aren’t words that descriptive!
Losing her last summer to colic was DEVASTATING. Grief is a powerful and sacred experience. The soul lessons learned through the process of grief are more precious and valuable than we may think. I was numb, literally numb. I cried often. I wasn’t eating and I couldn’t sleep. I missed her with every ounce of energy that I had. Losing her changed my life. I needed a new routine as I no longer had barn chores to do. Every minute of every day was conscious effort. I would often sit in my empty barn to talk with her, smell the hay, and yearn to hear her breath and soft nicker like I had for 6 years.
After 2 months had passed, I visited a friend and her horses, and we went on a short ride. I came home devastatingly empty---this was NOT my mare. I was still trying to find MY mare. I knew in my brain that Molly had left the physical plane. I wanted in my heart to ride her just one more time; to smell her just one more time; to hug her and hear her nicker….just one more time. I wanted MY Molly.
I realized that I wasn’t ready to be around horses just yet. I was still very emotional, still very much grieving, and not yet ready to approach a horse with a clean slate (so to speak) and judging him/her as an individual (and not looking to ‘make’ it into Molly).
The days and months of winter slowly passed. I began to look at old pictures and videos of Molly and me together, able to remember the smiles and fun times! I am able to smile and laugh at her quirks (and mine too!) and the experiences we shared. I think I’m ready to be around horses again….I think I’m ready….I think I can! No, I am NOT ready to be a horse mom again. I’m not sure that day will ever come. But I’m ready to be around a horse again.
In March, a friend emailed me an opportunity; Reins of Hope is looking for volunteers to help bring horse riding to people with disabilities. Wow, an opportunity to help unite people with special needs with the amazing healing power of horses. Sure, count me in! I am willing to try. Spring is a new season. Trees are waking up. Things are coming alive again.
This past Wednesday was the first day of the Reins of Hope program for this year. I arrived at the barn an hour early so that I could meet the horses and get a feel for their personalities. I also respect that they need to get a feel for me and my personality. Working with horses isn’t a one way street---respect both ways is necessary.
The first horse I approached in the barn was named…MOLLY. I’m thinking “omg, this isn’t real…” I approached her stall and she picked her head right up to look at me through the bars on her door. She poked her nose through the bars, and I offered the back of my left hand. She sniffed me. I told her that “I had a horse named Molly in my life, and she was incredible. It’s nice to meet you.” Do you know what this mare did? SHE LICKED THE BACK OF MY HAND. That’s a horse kiss. She was so gentle, and her eye was soft. She accepted me J
She was then ready to be led out into the arena by her handler for her warm up walk. I stood in the aisle outside her stall watching her walk away, eyes welled with tears. I truly believe that MY Molly Mare kissed me through Molly. It’s ok. I’m ok. I have my Molly’s blessing to work with other horses in this healing capacity. No other horse will ever hold a place in my heart and soul the way my Molly is there. I have healed and found great peace in the act of kindness from a horse who licked the back of my hand.
It was my assignment on Wednesday to walk alongside the riders who were to be on a mare named Belle. We had 3 sessions (so 3 different riders). First session I walked on the side, assisting the rider so he wouldn’t slide off the side of the horse. Second session I was asked to walk with the horse leader (the one holding the lead rope and guiding the horse). By the third session I was the one leading the horse. Belle and I listened to each other. We both helped the rider. We helped each other. I learned Belle’s quirks—she’s a 14 HH mare who is Alpha over the other 15+ HH horses. She doesn’t get along with Molly (the one who licked my hand) so we needed to stay away from her. She makes Ruby move in pasture (because she can!) so we need to stay away from Ruby (not all riders have the leg strength or balance to stay on the horse if she were to trot away from Belle). I respect herd dynamics, and we kept our riders safe.
I came home that night physically a little tired from walking about 50 laps around the arena. Emotionally I felt energized and STRONG. I have a sense of peace that I haven’t felt in a long time. Being around horses is an AMAZING experience. As long as you are open to healing, their wonderful grounding energy will certainly assist you with that.
And I truly believe that I received one last kiss from MY Molly Mare, working through another horse named Molly.
Messages from our loved ones who have crossed over can come in many forms. They are there for those who believe, and who are open to seeing them!